Sawadee, krap!
This is the
traditional Thai phrase for saying hello and good-bye, only women would use
“sawadee, ka” (“krap” and “ka” being the polite participle in Thai
phrases). As your first lesson in Thai protocol, always use this phrase
whenever you meet Thai people and they will be inclined to believe you are a
“good” foreigner. You will soon learn that little actions on your part can make
a big difference as to whether you have a good experience or a great experience
on your first visit to Thailand.
This
document is the result of many of my friends asking for advice before their
first visit to the Thai kingdom. Although I have been a frequent visitor and I
am married to a Thai woman, I am by no means an expert on Thai protocol and
culture. There are many more complete documents on this subject; but what I
find is that many first time visitors study these longer documents and forget a
few simple rules. If you want to read in more detail, there are many books on
the subject. For the latest in tourist information, let me suggest Lonely
Planet’s web forum on travel in Thailand.
Everyone has a Smile
Thailand is
known as the Land of Smiles (LOS to long time visitors). It won’t take you long
to notice that Thai people love to smile, even in stressful or tense
situations. This is what you should learn to do as well. Here’s how it works.
When you meet someone – say hello and smile; when you don’t understand what
someone is saying – say I don’t understand and smile; if someone scowls at you
– well you get the idea. This little trick will ensure that almost all of your
contacts with Thai people will be happy ones.
As quickly
as you will notice all the smiling, you will also notice the “wai”. This gesture is when someone puts
their hands together flat and then touch their forehead. This is a simple show
of respect to the recipient but the rules around when to use the wai are far from simple. In fact, when
to wai is linked directly to the “ten
questions” below, in that people of lesser respect wai people of greater respect. How this is determined is so complex
that even Thai people get it wrong sometimes. Let me suggest that you resist
the urge to wai anyone (this will
prevent Thai people from laughing out loud when you wai the hotel maid) and just smile broadly upon greeting people.
Leave the wai-ing to the experts.
Ten Questions
When you
pick up your bag at the airport and get into a taxi, don’t be surprised if the
driver starts to asks you a series of questions; some of them quite personal.
The script is usually like this: what is your name, what country you from, how
old are you, are you married, who do you work for, etc.? The first time this
happens, you want to be a good sport and answer dutifully. The second, third,
and fourth time, you might not be so forgiving. This gentle interrogation is
not Thai people being nosey about your personal affairs; they are just trying
to find out where you fit in their respect hierarchy. When they have a pretty
good idea of where you rank, they will feel more comfortable in talking to you
as they will know what to say and what not to say. Give in gracefully to this Q&A
session as their ultimate goal is to make you happy.
How Do You Like Thailand?
I don’t care
if you have just been robbed, or been in a car accident, or even holding your
chest in pain; the answer to this question is always the same – “I love
Thailand and I am having a great time”. Once you have answered this question
correctly, you will be identified as a “good” tourist and will make many Thai
friends. Similar to this question but just as important – What do you think
about our king? This is not the time to launch into a discussion of how
Americans threw out King George and lived happily ever after or any other
historical trivia. The answer is “he’s a good man who loves his people and has
done many good things”. Smile.
How to Handle Problems
Thai people
use the expression jai yen yen to
describe having a cool heart. Learn this simple Thai phrase and learn to repeat
it under your breath when you are losing your temper, like when you find out it
is standard practice for foreigners (farangs)
to be charged twice as much admission price as Thais. Never, under any
circumstances, lose your temper in Thailand or make a Thai person look bad in
public. Did I say never once; I meant to say it 10 times. Tourists who have
ignored this rule have sometimes ended up going home in a box. I am not being
dramatic. If you have a problem, say someone has overcharged you, try to show
that maybe they accidentally hit the wrong numbers on the calculator, could
they try it again? Smile. Most cheating Thai’s will give in when caught but if
that doesn’t work, try something more creative like “let’s split the
difference.” Smile. If the dispute is still not resolved, take a deep breath
and remember that 100 baht is only worth three US dollars. Is your personal
safety or the success of your trip worth $10? Pay the money and smile. When you
are safely home, write a post on a blog or call your congressman to alleviate
your anger.
Personal Hygiene
Ask just
about any Thai person what is the one thing they dislike about foreigners, and
if they are inclined to answer honestly, they will say their personal hygiene
is not up to Thai standards. Thailand has a hot and humid climate; most Thai
people take a shower at least two times a day and some even three times or
more. I suggest you do the same. A hot and sweaty farang lumbering up to a Thai
vendor is more apt to be spoken to rudely or cheated, (if you disrespect them
with your foul smell so shall you be in return). Also, short pants on men are
considered clothing for children, as are tee shirts and other very casual
clothing. Especially in the evening, dress like an adult and receive Thai
respect. For women, a skirt with a nice top and sandals works in most
situations. For men, long pants, a collared shirt and sandals are the style. To
compensate for the hot weather, wear thin, loose clothing. If you don’t have a
nice pair of sandals, do not despair, Bangkok has hundreds of shoe stores with
lots of styles of for very reasonable prices.
Transportation
First time
visitors experience with Bangkok will begin at the Suvarnabhumi International
Airport. This ultra-modern facility looks great but then the visitor is hit
with the very old problem of getting through immigration. Even at the slowest
times, these stations always seem to be under staffed, so this will be your
first lesson in using jai yen yen.
After this, most visitors will then experience Bangkok taxis for their trip
into the city. Bangkok taxis are easy to find in most parts of the city except
when it is raining, and are generally of good service. Most drivers will be
able to speak a little bit of English but it is always useful to have your
destinations written in Thai. Some rules about using Bangkok taxis: never get
into a taxi that does not have a meter. If there is a meter and it is not on,
ask the driver to turn it on. If the driver has some excuse not to (broken
meter) promptly get out of the cab. Otherwise, you could be in for your first
dispute in Thailand when you get a grossly inflated bill for your ride. If you
get into a cab and ask to be driven to a shopping venue, don’t be surprised if
the driver insists on taking you to another place. This “new” place is one of
many businesses that pay drivers to bring tourists there. If this happens, just
do the “no thank you” and smile routine a few times. Most drivers will back off
at this point, but some will persist. At this point make it clear to your
driver that if you are taken there you will not go in and will not pay his
fare, then smile. This usually works but don’t expect to get a smile in return.
Bangkok
street traffic is some of the worst in the world, with large traffic jams
forming for the smallest of reasons. Air conditioned taxis are very convenient
for getting around the city but at various times, it may not be the best way.
During times of high traffic (rush hour or rains) you could find yourself
sitting for hours on end. Consider using the under-used and affordable BTS
Skytrain with stations throughout the city. Instructions on how to use this
system are in English and pretty easy to understand. For local trips and for
first-time tourists, consider using a tuk-tuk.
This small, open motorcycle taxi can be fun when out casually seeing the city,
but not for more formal trips. For the truly desperate traveler who needs to
get through a bad traffic jam and is not faint hearted, approach one of the
many motoci drivers and for a small
fare, they will glad to take you to most Bangkok destinations.
Shopping
There are
many great places to shop in Bangkok. The top of the line is the World Trade
Center with MBK being more reasonably priced. Silom Village has a number of
shops catering to tourists; where it is worth a visit in the early evening when
you can get a good Thai meal while watching traditional Thai performing
artists. And, of course, what would a visit to Bangkok be without visiting the
infamous Night Market in Patpong. Open at 8 PM, this is an area between two
soi’s (lanes) with hundreds of vendors willing to bargain to sell their tourist
trinkets. All taxi and tuk-tuk drivers know where this destination is.
Some advice
on bargaining etiquette in Patpong and other shops in Bangkok:
·
The initial vendor price is almost always double
what they normally get, so start your bidding at least 50% lower.
·
Don’t dicker on something you do not want; if
you’re in the game you have to stay until a deal is reached.
·
If the deal is still not to your liking, try
combining another item for a better deal, and then everyone is happy.
For more
specialized shops, (or any other timely advice) ask the concierge at your
hotel. If you liked their suggestions give them a big tip and more good advice
will flow your way.
Dining
Bangkok is a
city where you usually have to look hard to find bad food. In fact, it is one
of the main reasons why Thai people put up with the congestion and hassle of
Bangkok; good food is available everywhere. There are a few great restaurants
and many good ones for farangs.
Again, ask around for specific suggestions in your area. One of the great
things about Bangkok are all the street food vendors. They sell a variety of
Thai foods, from fresh fruit to complete meals. I personally like fresh fruit
for a morning snack and a hot bowl of pork noodle soup in the afternoon (chased
down with a bottle of Singha purchased from one of the thousands of 7-11 stores
in Bangkok). Feel free to experiment as most vendors are fairly sanitary but
certainly do not eat any fruits or vegetables that have not been peeled or
cooked.
While in
Bangkok, consider changing your eating habits. Most Thai people eat 5 – 6 small
meals a day to keep from getting bloated in the hot weather. Street vendors
help with this schedule. Most important: never drink from any open container.
All water, cola, beer, etc. should be from a closed container or one that you
have seen opened. Ice is OK but even some people consider this a danger. Never
(10 times again) drink water from a Bangkok faucet; even at the best hotels.
Don’t even gargle with it or you may become the next victim of the infamous
Bangkok trots. Also, most Thai people tip very little when dining out but at
tourist restaurants they will expect at least 10%. If you want to tip at
American scales of 20% then the next time you go there you will treated as a
royal or a fool.
Thai food in
Thailand is much different (and better) from anything you have ever had in
America, as it is much tastier and much spicier. Generally, real Thai food is
made with much stronger curries and more Thai peppers are used, although this
is less true for food from tourist restaurants and hotels. Look for small red
slivers in your food and push them to the side of your plate before eating the
rest. This is perfectly acceptable etiquette as even Thai people will do this
when they suspect a dish will be too hot for them. If you happen to miss one
and your mouth catches fire, look for raw vegetables (usually served with any
spicy dish) as these are effective extinguishers. After that use water or cola;
as beer may make you more drunk at the end of the meal than you want to be.
Speaking of
liquid refreshments, many Thai restaurants will have a setting of water, cola,
ice, and sometimes Thai whiskey (Mekong) and a large bottle of Thai beer
(usually Chang or Singha). The water is free, the rest is not. Most restaurants
will carry popular brand names of liquor and beer, especially from Europe. Wine
is just now becoming popular in Thailand with wine bars becoming quite the fad.
However, I have rarely enjoyed a house brand wine in a Thai restaurant so use discretion.
In the tropical climate of Thailand, many prefer beer over other alcoholic
drinks. Most Bangkok venues carry quite a few internationally popular brands of
beer, with domestic labels of Chang or Leo. Most tourists seem to prefer Singha
beer. Don’t be surprised if your Thai beer is served with ice in the glass.
This horrifies most western visitors but as Thai beers are stronger malt
lagers, adding ice can dilute the beer to American palettes and be very
refreshing on a hot day. One newcomer to the Thai beer scene is Beer Lao from
Laos. In my opinion, this is a wonderful beer that has a distinctive flavor
with very little after taste. You may have to ask for it as Thai menus are
updated infrequently.
Scams
Although
many consider Thailand a very safe country to visit, like any other place in
the world, Bangkok has its share of crime and scams that prey on tourists. Some
of these are common to all, like pickpockets, while others are unique to the
land of smiles. To guard against the common threats, use well known deterrents
like room safes, money belts, don’t bring expensive jewelry, don’t get
excessively drunk in strange bars, etc. One of the first scams that might be
encountered is the taxi scam mentioned above. Other scams are internet cafes.
Most workstations have key loggers or cameras installed to capture accounts and
passwords. Never use these venues for important business, especially banking.
Some restaurants and bars will hope you did not notice the prices on menu items
that you have ordered, and then present you with an inflated check. This scam
is more common in lesser bars but the bottom line is to be alert, don’t assume
that smiling face on the waiter is an honest face.
Thai beggars
come in many varieties and it is your choice as to whether to make a donation
to their cause. Some of these beggars are rip-offs, like the foreigner who
clams they are stranded in Thailand and need airfare home (embassies usually
have a slush fund for this) or monks asking for donations (monks do not solicit
for money). Resist the urge to even talk to these scums. There is one situation
that may seem like a scam but really isn’t. The Thai couple standing in line in
front of you will be charged 50% or less to get into an attraction than you
will. Rip-off? Unfortunately not, as this is considered acceptable policy for
some Thai attractions. Smile and pay the extra few dollars.
The Naughty Bar Scene
Bangkok is
hands-down the paid-sex capital of the world, yet most tourists will not
encounter this world at all in their travels around the city. However, visitors
to the famous night market in Patpong will get a glimpse of it from the go-go
bars that face the market, with many shoppers invited by barkers to join in the
fun. The night market should definitely be on your short list of places to
visit but whether you decide to enter one on the bars should be considered
carefully. First, many will rip you on entrance fees and drink prices, and
others are just not very nice for couples. Before going in, make sure you get a
firm commitment from the barker about these items. If you want to experience
this world without the hassles, try the Safari Bar, as this is a well-run bar
and is relatively tame. Make small talk with the mama-san (the older woman at
the door) and get into the fun atmosphere. Further away from Patpong are Nana
Plaza and Soi Cowboy. These venues contain mostly full-blown gogo bars for
picking up a partner or two for the night. If you want to experience one of
Bangkok’s infamous shows at these venues, try the Anglewitch in Nana Plaza.
This is a well-run bar with innovative, semi-soft core shows that won’t offend
most liberal couples.
For the
latest on what’s happening at the Bangkok bar scene, and many other facets of Thai
life, visit this wonderful web site:
Stickmanbangkok.com
Hotels, restaurants, and other places to
visit
There are
many places to visit that should be on any first time traveler to Thailand’s
list, like the Grand Palace, Wat Po, Floating Market, or even Pantip Plaza for
pirate software and DVD’s. After that, it becomes a matter of when you visit
and what you would like to see. Updated information is easily found on many web
sites or by any hotel concierge worth his salt. Hotels are especially hard to
recommend. The top tier hotels, for those not on a budget, are well known, with
the crown jewel being the Oriental. The next levels become fuzzy, as conditions
can change very rapidly from year to year. For example, my friend recommended a
medium-priced hotel that he had stayed at in the fall, by Summer time when I
visited, the hotel had changed ownership and the service I received was
considerably less than my friend’s experience. Also, bar closings in Bangkok
can be a variable thing, what with Buddhist holidays and over-inflated
bureaucrats. Once you have found a hotel, the staff can make excellent
recommendations for all other excursions. Why? Because if they don’t it could
mean a major loss of face the next time you see them! That’s why you should never
listen to someone you may never see again, like taxi drivers. Consider using a
full-time driver recommended by the hotel for the same reasons to ferry you on
your trips. If a destination does not work out for you, do like Thai people and
make the best of it. In Thailand you never know; one night you may discover
that wonderful, low priced restaurant or shop that few people in Bangkok know
about. Then you can become the Bangkok expert for the day!
Mai Pen Rai!
More than
anything else, have this phrase in your heart as you travel around Bangkok. As
you encounter surprises, enjoy what the French call vive le difference, as
Thailand with all its charms and beauty, really is a very different culture
than America. Have fun and return home safe with lots of pictures.
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